so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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