I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
