I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
