I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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