you have to choose: penises or morals?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
