so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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