Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
