So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
