So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
