Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
