Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
