i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
