what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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