ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
