is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
