he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
