broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
