fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
and she was petting her beer can
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I will be naked everywhere
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
