He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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