i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
