Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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