I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
