I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
