I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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