Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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