What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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