there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
