It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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