oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
