I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
