I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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