I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
