Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
