Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
