Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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