This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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