When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
