Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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