I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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