..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
