don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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