I've blown a few things in my day
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
