First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
