i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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