i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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