How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
