Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
