can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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