How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
