jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
